I didn’t plan on doing this.
I was sitting in an office, something I don’t have the habit of doing, and I was ruminating about why it is so difficult. I noted down a few words at a time, keeping my discontent at bay in order to come back to work. Looking back, it was kind of interesting.
14/08 sitting in an office is boring; falling asleep >> need to move
This is why I’m sharing my experience, me being a freshly-graduated person entering the office-world. Maybe spoilt by a totally self-directed University experience, and definitely demanding in terms of my time being used well.
16/08 le truc c’est que je peux pas réfléchir si je suis pas bien dans mon corps (I just can’t think if I’m not well in my body)
If you want to help me, do say: do you feel similarly when you’re working? Or do I have reason to believe that I’m actually worse at concentrating than those around or have unrealistic experiences for thinking I should be performant most of the time?
17/08 coming in, starting to read a book on intimate life in the Arab world… so happy, this place is like continuing Uni, but applied, changing, i love learning (sadly, I’m not supposed to read rn tho).
afternoon (~4.30/5pm): uhhh. no more concentration. What am I still doing here? Is the idea to sit through it, do some low-key work? … feels like a meditation exercise in disguise. Even a 20min nap would be so good. ahh. i want to RUN. howww can i change this??!! Maybe it’s like when I started Uni. Probably a mix of “the others don’t do as much as I think they are” and … oh whatever.
Then, I found something echoing my sentiments:
“According to [Frederic] Laloux, studies suggest that between 2/3 and 3/4 of all employees are disengaged with their work. They “come to work with their bodies but not with their hearts” (cute). Whilst this notion is hardly new – Marx had plenty to say about the “functionality” of the working classes – as Laloux points out, we are not only talking about the disenfranchised poor but literally EVERYBODY, right up to top management. People even at the very highest echelons of business are TIRED. Tired of the ego games, politics, bureaucracy, meaningless meetings, budgeting cycles, arbitrary targets.”
In fact, he prophecises a new way of doing organisations.
And then, the end of the week brought good views (and not just because the weekend was approaching).
Friday: end-of-week meeting.
“How’s it been going, Ronja?”
(struggling. formulating very carefully)
“Uh, it’s a bit different from Uni…”
End result: I get a key to the office! I can decide to come in earlier, if I wish so. There is some freedom for me to adapt my rhythm. I might finally avoid that 5-7pm totally-not-productive hole, and so much else is there to be experimented with!
My head is already plotting – lunchtime parkour, maybe the shower in the bathroom is useable? And how early can I bring myself to get in to benefit from morning-productivity? Oh, we’ll see (and I’m still cautious, not wanting to end up as the weird intern after just a week, I’ve been trying normality so hard the last few days).
But, what a shift in attitude when it’s not me sitting there trying to fill time. I hope next week will just be fuelled by the exciting projects and new ideas I’m getting all involved with.
Keep posted! (Just pop your email in on the right side to get notified of posts).